me: I really miss you
my boyfriend: I’m learning about brownies
I mean bronies
things I remember hearing on the one night I worked as a stripper (a poem)
I’m a very devout Christian, I go to church. Actually one night my pastor came in here. What did I do? I made about $200 off of him.
I’m an elementary school gym teacher.
I’ll pay extra to watch her teach you.
Your body is so proportionate.
What’s your real name?
I could make you feel so good.
What are you doing later?
Can I have your phone number?
You pay us a percentage of everything you make in the back room, and we watch the cameras and make sure no one gropes you.
I just want to bury my face between your thighs.
It’s your first night?
If you don’t know what to do, just crawl.
Check with me before you talk to any guys because you don’t want to talk to someone’s regular.
Moving your butt is actually moving your thighs.
I don’t really think they treat us fair but it’s hard to ask for stuff to change around here.
You’re gonna want to get a lock, a smaller g string, and some deodorant for your vag.
You’ll be ok sweetheart.
You seem so innocent.
Wow, he got an erection. Good job.
Can I get a dance?
Talk to em, make em feel like you really care about what they’re saying, you know? Like they’re the most interesting guy you’ve ever met. But if he’s not gonna get a dance, move on. Don’t waste your time.